Must A Aspiring Content Creator Friend Stop Using People for Material?

The Prosecution: Beth

Sometimes she films me while having a meal. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, calls herself the “content queen”. It’s fun for a bit, but it strains our relationship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to document everything all the time. When we eat out, she says, “The camera eats first,” and snaps pictures with the flash on, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when strangers see her posing or filming – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She isn’t exactly an online personality yet, but she is trying to be. She creates video blogs about city life, a day in her life, and her styling career. Her content is good, I’ll give her that, but I prefer not to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. I’ll see myself on her Instagram afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to record her at inconvenient times. Sometimes I’ll be talking to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has turned into me serving as her free crew. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my unease about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the energy I spend assisting her make content.

I’m grateful that she has supported me with my design career, but I don’t want our connection to become merely a tally of exchanges. I don't believe she's insincere or dishonest, but sometimes I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to recognize that our decade-long friendship still has boundaries. I love being with her, but I also want to experience it without being recorded, edited, or shared for an audience. I’m not a prop for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I want Beth to see that the creations we produce together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and engage with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a full influencer yet, but it's savvy to generate income from your interests. I admire people on TikTok who execute that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of engaging with life: observing the nuances, sharing them with an viewership that appreciates the craft behind it. I never intend to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to industry events was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a opportunity to witness behind-the-scenes moments that could benefit her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I’d still take her to these events even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the work we make together can get us: an opening. I understand not all people enjoys being filmed, but sometimes spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I'd remove anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don't demand anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends help each other in minor capacities. I thought recording a short video now and then would be enjoyable for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having Beth around makes endeavors energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I record our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want content creation to drive a wedge between us. I’m willing to find middle ground: like requesting permission before recording, and steering clear of angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This is not about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Obviously content creation is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Reader Opinions

Should Marielle stop filming herself and her friend when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a friend point a camera at you. I understand that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Maybe she can find influencer friends to create content with. Given the dark, looming future of AI, personal relationships are the only thing we have – cherish them!
A respondent, 25

When pursuing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help every time, even if they have helped previously. If Marielle loves shooting, that doesn't imply everyone around her is willing material. She needs to honor her friend's privacy.
Ankit, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life online, but it’s not for everybody. It was kind she has assisted her friend professionally, but she needs to listen to what her friend desires.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you value each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the priority in your relationship. Create some authentic memories, where genuine feelings are stored, not digital scrapbooks. In fact, public figures who seem to reveal their worlds actually have more privacy than it seems.
Sarah, 53

She seems to be neither present nor authentic when they're together – she's on the job. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each setting clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an acceptable compromise.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

Consider this question: has she been over-exposing their bond?